Bank Hoilday Monday 26th December 2010

Well How did Christmas go
It was OK we went to mass first thing the church was very quite and the last time we were there was for Vikki's funeral how full it was then . people ask and phone thinking it must be a hard time of the year but the boys have been good Toby says that in church he said a Little payer for mum Cory couldn't wait to get out to get back for presents me i felt happy just having my boys with me wont be long be for they are all grown up and leaving home so i will make the most of the time now i brought Vikki's ashes home so as she would be with me over Holiday we have never been away at Christmas time as we love the house so much ,but this year it felt strange i miss her so much its silly she loved Christmas and i never did it was just a Day off work and not always that i would just look at her face and see the delight it watching the boys open there presents it made you feel happy just see well enough of that the new year is coming and with it a set of dates to get thought i wish all of the fellow blogers a happy new year

Saturday 11th December

To all the People who have sent funds for the boys fund please note so far the total is £550.00
to date Iwill speak to bank on Monday at put the funds in . A very big thank-you to you all , and a very Merry Christmas to you all love to one and all the Stancombe boys xxxx

Friday 3rd December 2010

Thank you to everyone who attended the funeral. It was very emotional for us all and we would like to offer a big thanks to everyone who tried to get to the funeral, seeing such a large turnout even with the weather problems was heartwarming.

Also big thanks too everyone who lent a hand providing refreshments afterwards and throughout the day, helping to make it as special as possible. Also thanks to everyone who brought flowers.

Many thanks From the Stancombe Family.

Maurice, Toby, Cory and Laurence.

Thursday 2nd December 2010

The funeral is NOT cancelled.

Due to weather conditions it has become very dangerous to go on the road. We would not like you to endanger yourself unnecessarily. Please be very careful.

Wednesday 1st December 2010

We just thought that you could do with an update weather wise. We understand that some of you may be concerned about the weather.

There are clear roads and no traffic jams in Sutton Valence. It is clear on most of the M20 as well.

As for parking the village hall car-park is still accessible and should be perfectly OK on the day, an alternative car park will be available should there be any problems on the day details will be made tomorrow.

REMEMBER: It is very icy and snowy so PLEASE do not take any risks as we understand.

Day 143 - Thursday 25th November 2010. Funeral Update

For all those Concerned The funeral arrangements are as follows:

A funeral mass to take place at 11:30 at St Mary's church, Chart road, Sutton Valence
The coffin will be in-situ at the church . Following this service, a second ceremony will take place at Charring Crematorium at 12:40 for those who would wish to attend.
Following the service the funeral party will return to Sutton Valence village hall for tea and coffee etc. In accordance with Vikki's wishes no flowers have been requested, but those who knew Vikki, are invited to bring a single pink rose or carnation as they would not be out of place.
As to Donations, Vikki's request was that a fund be set up for Cory and Toby's education. Those people who are wishing to donate, there will be a plate at the back of the church for anyone wishing to do this.

At this time we would like to yet again offer our thanks for the heartfelt support shown to the family.

Day 138 Saturday 20th November 2010

HELLO, It's the husband also known as Maurice .

The arrangements are now in place and will be put at the end of the blog . What I wanted to say is a big thank you to some very special people who through all that has been going on in the Vikkis world have without any question helped myself and the boys as well as Vikki cope with the rigours of daily life mum in law, and Laurie, Janet, Jo and the girls from the careers who made Vikki's last few days so happy I would often take a ticket to see my own wife, and what a wife. Life will never be the same the boys have lost a mum, I lost a lot, lot more, but I have the best of memories that will stay with me forever my love to all the bloggers and I hope to see you all at the special day celebrating the life of my beautiful wife Vikki , God bless you all.









FRIDAY 3rd December 2010 Mass at St Marys Church Sutton valence Followed by Service at the ceremetium at Charring and tea coffee cake sandwiches at the village hall sutton valence

all are welcome Please note no Flowers at vikkis request

Day 136 - Thursday 18th November 2010

Sadly, Vikki has passed away. We all feel very sad, if you would, can you please pray for her. As we came down and saw Vikki, she looked very peaceful and calm. Dad stayed up all night with Vikki. There is an emptyness to our lives, that only our mother could fill.

We thank you for reading this blog, as it made Vikki feel special and made some difference to peoples lives.
Keep reading this blog as Dad will be posting details about the funeral arrangements.


This blog was written by Toby and Cory.

Day 132 Sunday 14th November 2010

Today is rememberance sunday, so today lets all remember the good times. I can no longer communicate, and I am slowly leaving this mortal Earth, but the time I've had, although short, has been forfilled by my two beautiful boys, and my loving husband Maurice. To all my friends, and fellow bloggers, I hope you have enjoyed and gained some deep understanding of how life can be turned upside-down to make every day count.

All my love, Vikki. xxx




This blog has been written by Toby, Cory and Maurice. We think that it is very important that you know how Vikki is feeling and what is going on. Sadly, we think it is not going to be much longer.

day126,mon 8th nov

Feeling very tired as i have morphine patches now to help with the pain.

Had a lovely weekend with my family, love spending time with my boys, all 3 of them.

Maurice did some fireworks outside my window for me, what a star!

Maurice also bought me a super duper new phone, a galaxy tab...it is fantastic!It makes texting so much easier for me, so everyone that has recently received texts from me can expect a better effort in future!

thanks to Jo for doing the blog today

day 121 weds 3rd nov

What would you say if you were told that your brother had been made redundant after many years with the same company???

But what would you say if you had not seen him for 12 years,or heard anything from him???

Now i hear he has been reading my blog and wants to visit me!!!!
Bad timing i say!!!!! Cant say im looking my best at the moment!!!

But i want to know...is he coming to see me for him,or for me?????? I await his phonecall, with anticipation!!

Have now seen gemmas bike out of the window...looks amazing!!

Looking forward to fireworks night as Cory and I love sparklers,and we are getting a BIG box of them!!!


Thanks to Jo for typing this up!

Day 119-monday 1st Nov

Pleased to say internet now up and running, so blog continues!!
Weekend went far too quickly,and this morning sees Toby back at school.Thanks to him for all the care he has given me over the holiday.
Feeling very tired,but the hospital bed is a godsend,which is just as well as i am spending alot of time in it!!
Later today,energy dependant, i am aiming to start playing my new DS game,proffessor Layton!!! Should be interesting!
Looking out of my window, i am noticing the leaves rapidly changing, turning browner by the day! Soon be bare i fear!!
My lovely carer (one of them, they are all lovely!),has been given the title carer of the month...a well deserved honour..well done Gemma!.Still no improvement in my flexibility on left side, a real nuisance!!!
Still enjoying my favourite tipple....hot chocolate with squirty cream and chocolate sprinkles....jos speciality!!
Thanks to Jo for typing this blog!

Day 117-Saturday 30th October 2010

While some of you may be thinking that I am going for the record of genuine 999 calls made in one I can assure you that every call has been necessary to get me out of a predicament and the call made yesteray was no exception. Once again stuck on the floor and needing assistance and once again the crew turned up trumps. Almost disaster struck yesterday when the internet connection broke. Please to say now resolved so should be no interuption in service from here on. Thanks to all the people involved. Today in the morning I had a small seizure , although it only lasted 15 minutes. Thank you to Toby for typing this.

Day 112 - wednesday 27th October 2010

Well,everything continues to be comfortable with a super bed and the carers coming in 4 times a day.However the daytime tv is sooooo rubbish i am seriously considering entering some of the daytime competitions to try and win some money.Still no sight of the carers bike but promised very soon i am looking forward to seeing it thanks to Cory for typing this blog left arm still useless swollen left hand hope it's not limphodeama.Boys still enjoying half term and provide breakfast and lunch for me also drinks when required.

Day 110 -Monday 25 October 2010

Another relaxing weekend with visitors on saturday and sunday one of my carers has announced that she is getting a motorbike.The only problem i can see is that she has a minor mohawk haircut and with a helmet on.....but she is very excited so i am never the less and can't wait to see it.Have received a gift of the new professor Layton game on the ds so hope to play that is instead of watching rubbish day time tv.Thank you Cory for typing this blog for me.

day 109 - sunday 24th October 2010

Last night I had a tiny seizure and so I increased my medication today. My visitors have been kind and brought lots of edible gifts such as american baked cheesecake and chocolate. The last of the parish records have finally exited The Firs and I wish all the new clerks the very best of luck in their new roles. Cannot wait for the carers to perform their usual bed-wash tomorrow to remove all unwanted scraps of food from my bed!

Day 107-Friday 22nd October 2010

Thank you to Cory for typing this blog today.Once again a quiet day,had some visitors which was very nice and long may it continue.Day time tv continues to be rubbish but thank goodness it is just background noise.The boys continue to be helpful to Maurice and i hope it won't be a flash in the pan as he needs help with the house.The boys are looking forward to half term and i am looking forward to spending time with then.

Day 105 - Wednesday 20th October 2010

Thanks to Janet for the reminder and for typing this blog today. Daytime tv continues to be as boring as hell. Luckily magazines are a little more interesting.
Cory got a good report at the open evening that Maurice went to and Toby still seems to be settling well. All four parishes now have new clerks - I am sure they will all prove capable and I wish them the best of luck.
The hospital bed is amazing and I can get into positions I didn't believe were possible even before I was ill. The bed and me have been booked by a couple of clerks (no names mentioned) to take part in the New Years Day Pram Race 2011, so all invited to watch this spectacle.
I have had a lot of visitors which has been really lovely, if you are thinking of coming to see me (which would be great), please ring my mobile first as mobility is an issue and I can't get to the door. Hope to see you soon.

Day 101 - Saturday 16th October 2010

The carers are great. I can't fault them at all. Noy only do they check on me I have had string of visitors to see me. That is great but the only problem with thay is that ~~~~~I am unable to get to the door to answer it !!!!!!! Yes mobuility is still a problem.

Day 99 - thursday 14th October

With the help of Toby i'm afraid I am going to be a little profound today.

Where difficultys arise ... hang in there. Difficultys arise in the lives of us all and what is most important is dealing with the hard times, coping with changes, and getting through to the other side where the sun is still shining just for you.

So... beginning today and lasting a lifetime, hang in there and don't be afraid to feel that the morning sun is shining just for you.

Find something to be grateful for every day. Every day be full of awareness of the beauty around you. Be full of gratitude for friends and family, for the goodness you find in others and for your health and all you are capable of. Be full of expectance of yourself and others, appreciate the gifts of laghter and fun in your life and find contemptment in knowing that you can always control your ability to look on the bright side.

Love yourself every day and remember how many people love you. Do good things for others. Always see the goodness in this world. Most of all, be happy, for when you are happy you have the key that will open all the worlds doors for you.

day 98 wednesday 13th ~october 2010

the carers are fantastic, theres nothing they wont do. They come in four times a day. There are also alot of visitors coming to see me. Otherwise it has been a normal day, staying in bed, watching TV and having conversations with people that are in the house. I have been catching up on my reading, magazines, books and watching the commonwealth games. I like watching the diving the most, watching them go in the pool I enjoy. Tom Daley is very good. My lovley husband and children look after me when the carers are not around, cooking, cleaning up the house,

Day 97 - Tuesday 12th October 2010

Have to say the Carers are very good and if it wasn't for them ~I would definitely be pen and inking - I get a lovely wash in the morming which is great as I cannot get upstairs to get to the bathroom. The hospital bed is very comfortable too. The carers are very obliging and happy to help with anything. They sre very friendly too and nothing is too much trouble.

Day 93 - Friday 8th October 2010

Well I have been somewhat neglectful of my blog but there has been a lot going on too so I hope to bring you up to date now.

Since the biopsy I have had quite a lot of pain in my left shoulder that I put down to the biopsy but as the days move on I realise actually it may well be cancer on my lung. Maurice tells me that the morphine feed is ready when necessary. As far as I aam concerned the start of morphine is the start of the slippery slope and I will avoid it until it is absolutely the last possible option.

At the moment co-codomol is fitting the bill, so let's see how we go.

My mobility has deteriorated substantially in that I cannot even get to the front door if anyone calls by!

Have had visits from the District Nurse. Occupational Therapist and Macmillan, the result of which is a hospital bed that has been put downstairs because I have trouble getting upstairs, a comode and a care plan that will start on Saturday when carers will come in four times a day - that will give Maurice some breathing space. The bed is amazing, moves all ways - am thinking of putting on a show and selling tickets - ha ha ha.

Day 89 - Momday 4th October 2010

So we have received the result of the biopsy and what was the result that we needed? A breast cancer cell that is HER2 positive. Guess what we got? The worst posible scenario - MELANOMA! MELANOMA! hOW CAN THAT BE? That wasn't supposed to happen. There's no treatment for melanoma in the brain and likelihood is that's what it is.

Day 87 - Saturday 2nd October 2010

Had a visit from my GP late yesterday evening - first housecall since the start of this final journey. He is arranging for the District Nurse to call round on Monday morning.

Well you sre probably wondering how the sleeping arrangements worked last night - as far as I am concerned it went like a dream - no problems - but Maurice might hsve something to say about it - not sure it is printable.

Had some visitors over today -had a lovely day but not much else to say for the blog.

Day 86 - Friday 1st October 2010

Well after yesterday's little episode what more could happen? Anyone that knows me well, knows that there surely has to be something else - and you'd be spot on. Maurice said if I felt unsteady coming down the stairs then come down on my bottom, so I gave it a go and then made it to the bottom stair and - guess what - got stuck - couldn't get up - so another call to 999! They are brilliant! Got me up in no time at all. What am I like? Let's hope the weekend goes without the need for a 999 call.

Because of the problems getting up and down the stairs Maurice has now moved a bed downstairs ~ I am going to give it try and see how it goes this weekend.

Day 85 - Thursday 30th September 2010

Stupid, stupid, stupid situation today that resulted in another 999 csll! Got stuck on the kitchen chair snd couldn't move! With ambulance man ssistance made it to the sofa.

Also on waking had two more small seizures that affected my left hand and torso. Aaaaarh.Have been told can increase the anti-convulsion drug. Hopefully that will help.

Day 84 - Wednesday 29th September 2010

Well now the biopsy is done and dusted what's next? We need a whole lot of positive thinking that the secondary cancer on my lung is HER2 positive. That's the result that is required. So if you have some spare positivity it would be much appreciated if you could send it in my direction. Unfortunately it will be around 10 days for the result so patience is going to come in handy on this one.

Am still a little sore from the procedure yesterday but it's bearable.

Photo: White tiger cub


NOTE: © All rights reserved. Any unauthorised copying or reproduction of this blog will constitute an infringement of copyright.

Day 83 - Tuesday 28th September 2010

"B" Day. And there I was worrying about the canula! It was a breeze - not a mark.

The procedure went like a dream as well - totally as scheduled and as explained to to inst detail. It was, however, very painful getting the piece of cancer tissue - in fact three were taken and I felt every one. Ouch and triple ouch! I really couldn't fault the staff at all though - they were brilliant - from the porters that transferred me back and fro, to Dr Mills who performed the biopsy, and all the support staff in between.

I am still very sore and hopefully I can have a reasonably lazy day tomorrow to try to recover.

Day 82 - Monday 27th September 2010

Well seems I was wrong - there really doesn't seem to be any more feeling in my left hand. If anything it is worse than ever - just a dead weight.

"B" Day is here. Tomorrow is Biopsy Day. Have to be at hospital at 8.00am in the morning. The biopsy is performed under the CT scanner. This is to take an itsy bitsy piece of the cancer cell on my lung to check it out to see if it is HER2 positive. If yes there may be a case to get special funding for the drug Lapatanib - but hey one thing at a time - let's get tomorrow over with first.

Photo: Pink Funhouse Tour 2009

Day 81 - Sunday 26th September 2010

Well that was a lovely quiet weekend. Must admit every time I sat down I fell into a snooze, so I don't think I was particularly good company but I enjoyed the weekend! Didn't someone say it was all about me? Well it was unavoidable anyway so what was I supposed to do about it? Exactly.

Just thinking about the week ahead, it is the lung biopsy on Tuesday. Obviously I am a little nervous about that. Strangely you will think I am sure but not so much about the actual biopsy because I have been told it is a quite straight forward procedure. I am very worried about having another canula put in - never easy to find a vein in my chemo-traumatised arm. And a canula will be required as the biopsy is being done under CT scan. Anyway, another day before that time is here so let's just chill for now.

Day 80 - Saturday 25th September 2010

What a lovely day it has been today with gallons of sunshine, unending blue skies and while it has been chilly, I for one couldn't fault it. Haven't seen the forecast for tomorrow but hope it's more of the same. What am I like talking about the weather?

Having said all of that I have been so tired that every time I sit down I find myself nodding off - what's that all about? Perhaps it is down to the anti-convulsion tablets that "can cause drowsiness"?

Day 79 - Friday 24th September 2010

Had to go into hospital this morning and have a pre-biopsy blood test and did you know they now check everyone that is going into hospital for MRSA? Of course if the test comes back positive you cannot go in. I suppose that's a good thing - I am presuming my test will be negative unless I picked up something when I was in on Monday.

No more improvement in the left arm to report. Am so unsteady on my feet that I now have an alert gadget that I can press if I need help when at home. Once pressed a call goes through to a centre and they will call Maurice (or any number you wish). Good idea - and Maurice is happier now lesving me home alone.

Photo: January 2002

Day 78 - Thursday 23rd September 2010

Well, what do you know? It may well be my imagination of course but I think I have a little bit more feeling in my left hand today. Not enough to put my earrings in yet but it does feel a tiny bit better. Let's hope the improvement continues. The grazing on my left side from the fall is still a little sore but better than yesterday. I am still very unsteady on my feet though and am being very careful as I go - I certainly don't want to receive the wrath of Maurice because I have been a silly bunny !

Photo: January 2002

Day 77 - Wednesday 22nd September 2010

Well, aren't I just a disaster zone at the moment. I am sure we have all seen and laughed at the "only fools and horses" sketch where Del Boy goes to lean on the bar and the bar is up so he falls right on over - well I had a similar experience last night but it wasn't funny. On my way back from a trip to the little room, I came out and the intention was to grab hold of the door frame for support but I missed completely and instead fell straight into a chest of drawers - and that hurt - a lot - I grazed practically all my left side and a few bruises too! What am I like? We now have a night light set up so I should be better from here on.

I have been given instructions by my caring husband that I must use a stick whenever possible to aid my unsteadiness and I did when I went out today but it takes some getting used to. I will do as I am told though - if it stops me falling over it will be worth it.

Photo: Aug 2002 - Portugal

NOTE: © All rights reserved. Any unauthorised copying or reproduction of this blog will constitute an infringement of copyright.

Day 76 - Tuesday 21st September 2010

Just a quickie for today. Well as you know I was more than a little concerned about waking up this morning in case there was an action replay of yesterday. I am delighted to say the whole day went without mishap - phew, that's a relief. So far so good then with the increased drugs and long may it continue.

Let me share with you a little amusing interlude at dinner tonight - Toby had "Popping Chicken" and poured himself a large glass of milk to go with it. Cory took one look at the glass of milk and said we should hire a cow so that he would have enough milk and wouldn't burn his mouth on the chicken! Hire a cow? Makes you wonder how they think of these things doesn't it?

Photo: Cory - May 2005

Day 75 - Monday 20th September 2010

What a nightmare start to the week! Woke at around 7.45 and within minutes was in the full throws of major seizure, completely out of control with twitching and jerking all down the left side and left arm in a world of its own. Had a complete workout for around 10 minutes and it stopped - then started again almost immediately just as violently. This continued for a couple of hours until Maurice called the doctors who advised a call to 999 for ambulance. All the time I just wanted it to stop but my will wasn't strong enough to have any affect - believe me when I say I was trying.

Ambulance crew arrived but couldn't find a good vein to pump in Diazepam so off we went to Maidstone Hospital and arrived with blue lights flashing - how exciting - but no neenaw neenaw though - is that because there's an extra charge for sound? Haha! As we arrived and they transferred me to one of the A&E beds the seizure stopped! It then transpired that my sugar level was only 1.7 - very low - apparently 1 is coma!!!!!!! So got a shot of glucose straight away. Not sure if the length of the seizures caused the level to drop or it could even be that the extremely low sugar level brought on the seizures in the first place.

After all the tests they felt were necessary and a wonderful time just sitting in A&E until early afternoon - not the best venue for lunch - although I have to say the cheese and ham panini from the cafe wasn't that bad - we finally got out of there! I had forgotten shoes so walked out of A&E in my socks, jimmyjam bottoms, t-shirt and dressing gown - what a sight! The outcome of all of this is that the steroids are being increased again to try and reduce swelling around tumours and anti-convulsion are being increased too. Let's see what happens. Must say I am a little worried about tomorrow morning and what it might bring.

This little episode has brought it home to me big time that I definitely cannot continue working at all - if I had one of these seizures during work - or even anytime in fact - it would be completly debilitating - more than a little worrying.

Was supposed to have my last Council meeting tonight but I have - maybe sensibly for once - advised them that I am unable to attend. While I really don't want to let anyone down, I do think that it is the right thing to do.

Photo: Pink - Bohemian Rhapsody - Funhouse Tour 2009

Day 74 - Sunday 19th September 2010

What did I say? Where there's a will ... Well, I got my contact lenses in today - yes! Lost a couple in the several attempts but I finally did it. Ha, so there!

Have not been feeling as tired the last few days but my legs lose their strength as the day progresses so much so that I have now had to give up my lovely bath at the end of the day as I don't have the strength to get up and out of the bath. So it's showers for the time being - so what did you think ? Of course it would be one or the other - the last thing I need is to pen and ink on top of everything else right now!

Photo: Portugal - July 2007

Day 73 - Saturday 18th September 2010

Thanks to all for the suggestions for my nail dilemma. Now there's another little problem that has surfaced - I can't put my contact lenses in - need both hands! So I will have to wear my glasses all the time now.

With all these little things being added to my list of "no goes" on what seems an almost daily basis it is starting to feel like my world is closing in around me. Now I even have a rubber mat for my plate so I don't knock it off the table! But that still doesn't help me to get the food to my mouth. I fleetingly wonder if we should have kept all those toddler aids like the easy to use cutlery - Perhaps a trip to Mothercare? - oh no perhaps not - What about Age Concern then? No, definitely not!

I am determined to try and manage the best that I can - where there's a will ...

Photo: La Croix, Bouteilles-St-Sebastien (Nr.Riberac) - July 2009

Day 72 - Friday 17th September 2010

Well now, have just spent two hours trying to french manicure paint my fingernails. Two hours for something that usually takes around 40 minutes. No prizes for guessing where the problem was - of course trying to paint my right hand with a totally useless left hand was always going to be difficult and the result speaks for itself - rubbish! I might have to think about reverting to a solid colour.

Lost my balance and fell off the kitchen chair earlier - smack on the floor - what an idiot and I'm not even sure how it happened - think my phone fell and I was trying to pick it up - must be more careful!

The weekend is here - yippee. Two days of whatever we want to do - result.

Photo: Antigua - April 2006

Day 71 - Thursday 16th September 2010

Well there's a real risk here that I may lose some readers - with nothing new to report - it seems for some days now - I am pretty sure this blog must be bordering on boring!

It has been suggested to me that I put my left arm in a sling - well at least I would know where it is all the time and it might help with dropping things and knocking things over. Not sure - will have a think on that one.

Gosh, have you noticed how early it is getting dark now? We are definitely sliding into Autumn aren't we? The chilliness is around too. But what will come with all that? Yes that's right - pretty autumn colours - I for one am looking forward to that - let's hope it proves to be stunning display this year.

Photo: Our Cherry Blossom - Autumn 2003

Day 70 - Wednesday 15th September 2010

Just a quickie today. Nothing new to report - am ever hopeful that I will awake one day to some more feeling in my left arm/hand - boy, would that be just fab and make all the difference to day-to-day functioning. It is not particularly good at the moment trying to do anything - Maurice even had to cut my food up at dinner tonight!!!!!! Gosh, that shouldn't be happening for a few years yet should it and aren't I supposed to have false teeth too - so I do not fall into that category then - hey, isn't anyone listening ?????


NOTE: © All rights reserved. Any unauthorised copying or reproduction of this blog will constitute an infringement of copyright.

Day 69 - Tuesday 14th September 2010

Here I am ! Did you miss me ? 'Fraid nothing new to report on the numbness - still the same on that front. Had Council meeting last night (NO.3 of 4 remaining to be done). Once again concentration proved difficult but managed to get some notes on paper. It was more difficult trying to get the Minutes done with just my right hand to call on. Took best part of the day to get them completed - absolutely ridiculous. Glad to say at the meeting last night that Council appointed their new Clerk so hopefully we can get the handover done soon - I really am hopelessly incapable of applying myself to work.

Oh yes, before I sign off, just to tell you that I have got my date for the lung biopsy - Tuesday 28th September - that's good.

Photo: June 2004

Day 67 - Sunday 12th September 2010

Beeen hoping for a bolt of lightning to help with today's entry but alas nothing has materialised. Pretty much a repeat performance of yesterday with the main hindrance being my left arm and the fact that there is no feeling at all now right down to my fingertips. Well, I should be thankful that I am right-handed then - there is always a positive ! Maurice has been run ragged the last two weekends and was in need of a break from the kitchen, so we went out for lunch today. Have to say proved difficult for me, dropped my fork twice, had trouble cutting my food and then getting it to my mouth ! These things are sent to try us - don't worry - I won't ever go hungry with the amount of excess I am packing right now - see, I told you there's always a positive !!

Photo: July 2007 - Portugal Water Park

Day 66 - Saturday 11th September 2010

Well, I am sorry guys - while I would dearly love to be able to give you some good news - and you know I would if I could - I really don't have anything positive to tell you today. My left arm is worse than useless and no help to me at all. So much so that I am now having to type with my right hand only and anything that requires my left hand needs some other way of working it out to conclusion. Just being able to hold my fork and get food to my mouth is a task in itself! I suspect that this is the mix of drugs so it may need a re-think. The anti-convulsion tablets that I am taking can cause drowsiness so that may be why I am feeling so tired most of the time.

Toby has had a delayed birthday celebration today and had friends over - been to cinema (no I didn't accompany - Maurice did) and then had a meal and later they are having a sleepover - oh, looking forward to that!

PHOTO: 2004

Day 65 - Friday 10th September 2010

What a day this has been. I have been all over the place today and I don't mean sightseeing! My left side has been completely useless and I have felt very unbalanced, so much so that I have dropped a couple of things - luckily they didn't break! Coupled with that I have felt extremely tired and trying to get the work done from the two meetings from the last two evenings has been very difficult indeed. Am beginning to wonder how much longer I can hang in with work.

So, the steroids have been reduced because I am taking the anti-convulsion tablets and while I haven't noticed any side effects until today - perhaps the lack of movement in my arm is something I should be monitoring.

Toby has completed his first week at MGS and it all seemed to go well. Am so pleased for him - he has settled in and made friends.

Photo: Snow Leopards

Day 64 - Thursday 9th September 2010

Well, I guess you are wondering how I got on at my meeting last evening. It was very difficult - concentration was zippo and while I got notes down and have managed to form them into Minutes of the meeting, I know they are not my best work. But in the circumstances it is the best I can do. Am pleased to say that at last night's meeting my replacement Clerk was introduced so that Council is up and running and all that is required now is the handover which will happen next week.

I have been feeling very tired and trying to rest up as much as possible to keep my Duracells charged but I have to say that thanks to a classic side effect of the steroids I have no strength in my legs - so trying to get up is proving very difficult - I am definitely avoiding crouching down as I would need a JCB to get me up !!!!!

Another full Council meeting tonight - it's got to be done ....

Photo: Thursday 29th July 2010

Day 63 - Wednesday 8th September 2010

8th July - that was the start of this journey - two months ago today. Oh, what I would give to have just a trapped nerve as I thought it was then. But hey, it isn't, so let's get back to reality.

Have had many offers of help with the meeting notes - thank you. I have tried to get as much rest as possible today in advance of my meeting tonight so hopefully I will get through it okay. Oops - it's time to get ready and go .....

Photo: White tigers - just for me

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Day 62 - Tuesday 7th September 2010

After a very uplifting day yesterday, today has been quite a trawl. Working is proving very difficult with concentration very limited and typing impossibly frustrating. Am concerned about the two full Council meetings this week one on Wednesday evening and then the next on Thursday evening and how I am going to get through them. Following each meeting of course there will be the Minutes to complete and any work that is generated will need to be done. Obviously as a professional person, I will do my very best but I am apprehensive about them to say the least.

Pleased to say that Toby had another good day at School today and is taking it all in his stride. I am so proud of him I feel I could almost burst.

Photo: Tuesday 7th September 2010 - Hot Air Balloon over Sutton Valence

Day 61 - Monday 6th September 2010

Well, what a day this has turned out to be.

First, Toby's birthday - but more importantly, his first day at Grammar School. So we were all up early to see him off on his first day. Maurice walked Toby to the end of the road and across the busy main road to catch the No. 12 bus to school - a first. Luckily Toby has friends that are going to the same school and are catching the same bus so he is not alone on the journey. I am so proud of him and couldn't wait to hear all about his first day when he got home. I am pleased to say that he had a great day he says and is looking forward to tomorrow ! Brilliant news.

Second, an appointment at the hospital with my oncologist - and, wait for it, he tells me that he is reading my blog ! What? Is the whole world reading my blog? Crazy! Anyway, the news is that the cancer that is on the lung is slightly bigger than I thought. The option is to have a biopsy done to check if it is HER2 positive - the same as my original breast cancer - if it proves positive to HER2 then my oncologist will try to put a special case together to get the drug Lapatinib because it has not yet been approved by NICE - a bit of a tall order. However, a big EVEN IF I do get approval to get the drug, there is no guarantee that I will react positively to the treatment. Everyone is individual and some people react well and some don't.

So, where are we? There really is no question that it is worth a go, so the plan is to have the biopsy done and check the cancer on the lung - hopefully it will be breast cancer HER2 positive and the oncologist will do his best to apply for Lapatinib as a special case. But let's not get ahead of ourselves - one step at a time - biopsy first.

Last but not least, took Toby out for dinner this evening to celebrate his birthday. A good day has been had by all today !

Photo: Monday 6th September 2010 - Toby's first day at Maidstone Grammar

Day 60 - Sunday 5th September 2010

Well, I for one had a great time and I sincerely hope everyone who came to our little soiree last evening enjoyed themselves. It certainly seemed like a long time coming but it was over in a blink ! And so well organised wasn't it thanks to my wonderful husband who had everything organised to the inst degree. I must say a huge thanks to friends and neighbours who tirelessly helped to make the night go so smoothly and to my husband who, once again, prepared a wonderful feast for our guests.

It certainly was overwhelming to see so many people show up, I do hope I didn't neglect anyone too much but think I did manage to speak to everyone at some point. Thank you to everyone who brought gifts, that really wasn't necessary you know - the point was to see you - but I thank you very much for the lovely presents.

Well, the plan now is ... just get back to some kind of normality - I know I have said that before and it is going to happen. If I have anything to do with it, it will be sooner rather than later. Then, hopefully I will feel up to socialising with as many people as possible as the months (and months) move on. Looking forward to that.

Photo: Saturday 4th September 2010 taken by Toby

Day 58 - Friday 3rd September 2010

Look at where we are - almost two months since the beginning of this final journey. Two months. Doesn't seem possible does it? But it is - two months is next Wednesday.

Before that and more important of course - yes tomorrow - we have our little ole get together. Am so looking forward to seeing everyone. I only hope that I will be able to stay for the duration as I get so tired in the evenings. I will have to have a very very good rest during the day to make sure my Duracells are fully charged to give me a fighting chance. So all that remains to say is .... looking forward to seeing you tomorrow !!!!!!!

Photo: Toby & Cory - August 2004

Day 57 - Thursday 2nd September 2010

Music. Now there's a subject. Pleased to say that I have prepared my playlist for Saturday - an upbeat mix of old and new.
You will surely agree that music is an important medium in all our lives. It can lift your spirits and of course make you cry. We all have different music tastes of course and I for one have very diverse tastes from my favourite Film Soundtrack - "Out of Africa" - to Motown (well I grew up with the sound of Motown) and to the ultimate extreme - Pink! Pink has the amazing talent of being able to put her heart and soul into her lyrics and coupled with the great music - I for one am hooked. I was privileged enough to be able to see Pink's Funhouse Tour at the O2 last December. I have to say it was the best show I have ever seen - no really - ever seen. A full on Show with a full troup of acrobats - plus Pink singing while performing acrobatics too - just amazing! When it was over I could have gone back in and seen it all over again, and again, and again. Well, I suppose then, you could say that there is one thing that I would like to do again - see another Pink concert. But expect that really isn't going to happen as that was a World Tour and the expectation is perhaps another tour in a year or so - boo hoo.

The very last track at the Pink Funhouse Tour Concert was the stunning "Glitter in the Air". The last couple of lines :

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and held that rope tight
Have you every held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?

Have you ever? I certainly have and do.

Photo: Pink Funhouse Tour at O2 - December 2009

Day 56 - Wednesday 1st September 2010

Well, well, well. Had a real scare last evening. At around 9.30pm had the biggest and longest seizure yet complete with involuntary jerking and twitching - not a pretty sight. It seemed to go on for ages but probably in reality only about 4 minutes or so. It was very scary and frightening and even concerned my usually calm husband.

Assuming that this is to do with the reduced dosage of steroids - this morning raised them back up to the original dosage. Maurice spoke to the Oncologist who confirmed that was the correct thing to do and he has also prescribed some drugs to counteract the seizures. So let's see how that goes then.

So let's move onto nicer things shall we? Saturday at Sutton Valence Village Hall. It's almost here! Am so looking forward to seeing everyone who wants to come and see us - hee hee. Just to remind you that we will be there from 5.30pm and throughout the evening, so anytime you want to show up - that's okay with us - just remember to bring your tipple with you so we can have a "clink" together. Looking forward to seeing you there !


Photo: Valentine's Day 2010 - Egypt - amazing what the room attendants can produce from just a towel and petals!


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Day 55 - Tuesday 31st August 2010

Well, what a struggle today has been. Left arm has been totally useless in work mode and trying to type has proved ridiculously impossible with no spaces between words. Having to go back time and time again to put in the spaces! How frustrating is that for a usually competent touch typist?

I am only hoping that the reduction in steroids has not caused this problem as I seriously do not want to put the dosage back up again and will resist that at all costs. I have to say that "Balloon lady" is looking more the order of the day at the moment and - yes I know I said I really don't care about putting on weight and that is true - however the bloated feeling is very uncomfortable and hard to cope with.

Still positive in thinking the normality is going to kick back in and it is going to be sooner rather than later.


Photo: Saturday 21st August 2010

Day 54 - Monday 30th August 2010

Bank Holiday Monday. That's it - the two weeks of continuing radiotherapy is supposedly over. I have to admit, the last two weeks have really dragged, but finally got here. Can't say that there is any noticeable improvement in my state as yet but let's be sensible and positive about this - it is going to happen. A reasonably good day all in all.

One week of the reduced steroids and with no effects that I can spot, I have been told that I can reduce them once again for another week. So day one of another halved dosage. Let's see what happens during the next week.

Decided to raid the wardrobe today and try and find something to wear for the forthcoming get together and what a laugh! Well actually not so much of a laugh. If there was any question that I have piled on the pounds - thanks to the steroids - then the mountain of clothes on the bedroom floor today just signed and sealed the moment! Glad to say I finally found something to wear but if I put on any more weight there may have to be another re-think!

Photo: Sunday 29th August 2010

Day 53 - Sunday 29th August 2010

A quiet restful day at home with the family today. Regretfully I was not up to doing much at the start of the day but have had no headaches or nausea and once again improvement has come later in the day - well at least there has been improvement together with some late sunshine and some fantastic cloud formations - am I the only one to have noticed those?

Finally a huge task is completed - all the name labels are securely in Toby's new uniform - lost count how many I sewed in - it was a lot - but all done now - Phew!

You know I don't even remotely glimpse at my horoscope usually, but I happened to see it in this week's You magazine:

"Don't let partners and colleagues make you work faster this week. Keep plodding along at your regular pace and everything that has to get done will get done right. Too many people nowadays are happy producing shoddy work. Someone has to keep standards high, and that someone is you."

Well I couldn't have said it better myself !!!!


Photo: Sunday 29th August 2010

Day 52 - Saturday 28th August 2010

Oh and it had promised to be so good .... But no. A few steps back today - aaarrrrrghhhhhh! Firstly, woke with a really bad headache and had to take some paracetamol to shift it. Then, pretty much all day had the spaced out feeling back and unable to do much at all except rest up. The heady feeling started to subside at around 5.30 pm - hopeless - well what use is that to a day? Totally none!

Am very disappointed but not disillusioned - I have to realise that I am not in control of "it" - as much as I want to be of course. I am giving myself some slack and thinking positive for tomorrow - what else should I do? Exactly.


Photo: White tiger - just to cheer me up!

Day 51 - Friday 27th August 2010

Another reasonable day today - about the same as yesterday. A headache took a while to shift but I resisted taking any tablets and after a good rest, it dissipated. Looks like this is the improvement I have been waiting for and with a long weekend coming up, it's "looking good Houston".

So, the sun isn't shining and we have had plenty of rain - not everyone's idea of a good time I know, particularly as this is supposed to be "Summer" but just take a look at the lovely green gardens we have now. It is very green and beautiful. Nature is wonderful isn't it? You just have to take a peek every now and then to appreciate it.

Photo: Mr Blue Sky

Day 50 - Thursday 26th August 2010

Day 50 - now that's a nice rounded figure.

Well, guess what? I have actually felt a little better today ! Yep yep yep.
The spaced-out feeling has not been quite as bad - not a major shift but definitely noticeably better. Downside though, it has been replaced with a little nausea and a little headache - not enough of a headache to have to have to take tablets. I am so hoping this is the start of an upward lift - what am I saying - hoping - this is definitely the start of improvement in my state - that's better. Patience is a virtue so they say and it has finally paid off! Pleased pleased pleased - let's see what tomorrow brings now and keep the upward momentum going now - yessirreee.


Photo: Toby & Cory - 10th April 2005

Day 49 - Wednesday 25th August 2010

Step by step, closer and closer, another day down ...

I don't seem to have said much lately about my wonderful husband and beautiful boys. Maurice says that this is all about me and what I want. Well, actually it would be nice to be totally selfish and think that, but that really isn't the case now is it? Our marriage is a partnership and as such we are in this together. I kind of feel that I have, in a stupid way I suppose, the easy option and I am the one leaving him to cope with everything. Quite a task with two boys and a business to run. While I am sure he is capable it is a huge thing to take on on one's own isn't it?

The boys, well what more can I say about my beautiful boys? It is quite extraordinary how they seem to have matured over the past few weeks and instead of ending up fighting are more "together" with one another and supportive and even considering one another - now there's a first. I am so proud of their new caring attitude towards each another and hope that this closeness continues to develop as we go forward.

Photo: 10th April 2005 - Day discovered lump in breast.

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Day 48 - Tuesday 24th August 2010

Another day ticked off - slowly slowly getting there. Still same side effects - not going to go over them again. Forgot to mention that I have been given permission to reduce the steroids by half - slashed from yesterday - just like that ! So back to the dose that I was originally taking at the beginning. Have been told that it is a matter of seeing how this will affect me, so am mindful they may have to be increased but day two of reduction and no problems at the moment and positive thinking means there won't be will there now? What will that mean then? Maybe I will start losing weight now ! Ha ha ha ha ... perhaps not - would be nice to think so, but major effort will be required on that one methinks and not something I want to tackle right now. Does anyone care if I am as big as a house? Certainly not me anymore - there's more to life isn't there!

Photo: August 2004 - Buzz Lightyear and Woody in Disneyland Paris

Day 47 - Monday 23rd August 2010

Well here we are one week in, so made it to half way and the radiotherapy will carry on working for another week - just another week and I seriously want some normality back. I know I have said it before but this is driving me crazy, not being "on the ball" - so frustrating. Everything, and I mean everything, is taking so long to do and concentration is an issue. Onward - let's get this next week out of the way and aim to get some "norm" back.

Had a visit from a Macmillan Nurse today, very supportive and will come out whenever I need them to or just be at the end of the phone. Loads of services to avail myself of it I want to - like a Day Centre that I could go to - well perhaps - never say never. Might be good to talk to other people in the same boat as me. I am not, in any way shape or form, taking anything away from my great network of friends and family but I am sure you will appreciate that talking things through with someone who knows exactly what I am going through might be good for me.


Photo: November 2002 - Toby & Cory

Day 46 - Sunday 22nd August 2010

Well, well, well, what do you know? Our dog knows I'm sick! He really does. Now I do seem to remember reading somewhere that animals have a keen sense of illness. Well, now I know it's true, they do. As you probably know Springer Spaniels are a very boisterous and bubbly breed, always on the go and our Roma is no exception. Whenever I would go out into the garden he would always bound up ever ready for some fuss and attention. However, he is different with me now. He is very gentle and just comes and sits quietly by me and actually avoids eye contact with me.

Animals, don't you just love 'em? Well, maybe not everyone I guess but that brings me to the wildlife in the world that is ever under threat from Man's intervention. I love big cats, always have and in particular tigers - white tigers - and snow leopards. Isn't it such a shame that there appears to be only a minority of caring people in the world that are trying to save such impressive animals - and there are so many different species, large and small, that are disappearing every single day. I can't even begin to imagine what the world will be like for generations to come - where will it end? - no natural habitats or wildlife to speak of? Sad what Man can do isn't it?


Photo: Sunday 8th August 2010

Day 45 - Saturday 21st August 2010

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what a disappointment I have had ... A seizure yesterday evening lasting about three minutes. I am so disappointed with that. What is happening? The treatment is supposed to carry on working and I would have thought that would mean the seizures would stop. Well, obviously not.

Was looking forward to the weekend and am disappointed to have had a very slow morning - again ! This is so frustrating.

Took the boys for a much needed haircut and it was quite an effort - sounds mad doesn't it - being driven around and then a short walk - anyone can do that can't they? For someone like me that usually has so much get up and go this state is driving me crazy. Where is normality? Hopefully waiting at the end of this two weeks. I can't bear to think that I won't feel my old self again at some point - in fact - STOP - I am not even going to think about it and tempt fate !


Photo: Saturday 21st August 2010 - Toby & Cory

Day 44 - Friday 20th August 2010

Oh, frustration, frustration, frustration ! Have not felt great today, spaced out and slow, slow, slow. Am so desperate to get back to normality but it has only been a few days since the last zap so I guess my "Little Miss Impatient" side is coming through loud and clear - perhaps not so "little" at the moment though with all the yummies I have been snuffling !

Have been thinking too about how I have got to this point.

Five years ago when the breast cancer was discovered and the breast removed as a matter of course they checked the lymph nodes. There were half of the nodes infected. I was told at that point - half is borderline so I would have chemo as a precautionary measure, then radiotherapy as a precautionary measure and finally the, at the time, new wonderdrug Herceptin as a precautionary measure. All precautionary. I just had to do my five years and I was home free. To now be told by my consultant that there are an increasing amount of patients coming back with brain tumours following similar treatment is just unbelievable. Apparently, neither chemo nor herceptin treats the blood to the brain. Well you would think when you lose your hair with chemo that your whole head is being treated wouldn't you? Funny thing, I always wondered if there might be a rogue cell floating around somewhere - hey why did I ever think that?

Strange but true though - you might remember that I had a nasty fall flat on my forehead some months ago. I couldn't shake the headache off and my doctor sent me to hospital with a suspected fractured skull - I had a CT scan to the head. You know what? That CT scan was totally clear - there were no tumours evident then - I have seen the pictures. So is Cancer triggered? I believe it is and that fall was my ultimate undoing.


Photo: July 2007 in Portugal

Day 43 - Thursday 19th August 2010

Can I ask a question? Well of course I can, this is my blog and I can say whatever I like !

Has reading my blog changed your way of thinking of life? It would be lovely to think that I have made a difference even if it is in a miniscule way - would make my journey all the more worthwhile. I do hope that it has made you think about things a little more, maybe not in a life-shattering way but just to be mindful that life is very precious. I know, I know, everyone knows that - but do we really ever really think about it? No-one knows what's round the corner do they? Anything could happen. In fact, I almost feel lucky in that I have been given time to appreciate everything and given some time to do things that I want to do. Some people have sudden accidents and leave this world without being able to say goodbye to their loved ones and perhaps not do things they wished they had done. Don't get me wrong, I really don't have a list of things that I am going to "tick off" - that's not the point - just enjoying time with my wonderful husband, beautiful sons, family and friends will be sufficient for me - oh and perhaps some luxury weekends away thrown in for good measure !


Photo: June 2004 - Toby & Cory at home

Day 42 - Wednesday 18th August 2010

Have had some great comments about the new hairstyle - aaww thanks everyone.

Another milestone - four weeks since I was given the news. Doesn't seem like four weeks does it? So much has happened including the launching of this dinosaur of a blog. There are, as I understand it, so many people reading my blog - and some of those people don't even know me(!) I feel quite a responsibility to keep it up to date - quite the little project for me. Nice to know that people find it interesting enough to take a peek at how I am doing.

Found my Will the other day. We made them some while ago now and - what do you know? Seems I decided back then that I wish to be cremated. I don't remember doing that but that's fine - one less thing to have to think about. Not going any further than that at this point - I am going to be around for a good while yet before I need to think about arrangements for the funeral - so not going there!

The day has been reasonably good, a little fuzzy in the morning but following a good rest after lunch, felt somewhat better and almost normal. No sign of the side effects - on a roll !

Photo: February 2010 - in Egypt

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Day 41 - Tuesday 17th August 2010

What a day - got a new haircut ! Hope you like it.

Feeling reasonably okay today too. No sign of the side effects so far ... so let's keep it going.

At times like this it is inevitable that thoughts turn to anything and everything. Biggie question ... is there something else after life here? Well, I know that those with religion, including my husband, will say for sure there is. For me - as Maurice says "the biggest atheist he knows" he says it is far too late for me to be thinking about taking on religion, and I accept that of course. It would be nice to think there was something more though. My Dad died at home and I remember when I went in to see him after he had left us, it was quite strange in that his empty body shell was laying on the bed but there seemed to be something missing - his spirit and soul had left perhaps.

My Dad was a keen gardener and used to dig the garden often. Of course, Robins are likely to be around when gardeners are digging the garden, that's not news. I have always wished that my Dad could have seen me settled with Maurice and of course Toby and Cory - how he would have loved them. Strange but true that since we have lived in this house, more than a little regularly I see a Robin in the garden - just when I happen to look out of the window - I never look for them but they just appear - often. At the risk of you thinking that I have lost the plot(!) I like to think that is a sign from my Dad that he knows and that is comforting to me. Just as an aside - in the radiotherapy unit there is a TV screen showing different scenes and wildlife and guess what came up - you got it - Robins!


Photo: Tuesday 17th August 2010 - my new haircut - taken by Toby

Day 40 - Monday 16th August 2010

Done it, made it, last radiotherapy session today - yippeeedooooooo. Feels so good to get that over with. Am told side effects will kick in now - nausea and headaches mainly.
Whoa! Hair is falling out in handfuls! Good job I have an appointment at Carpenters in Maidstone tomorrow morning to look at some wigs - looks like that was a timely move.

Now, while everyone has been so supportive and the offers of help have been overwhelmingly generous, I want to say a special thank you to my friend Janet who has taken me to the hospital everyday for the past two weeks. I could have had hospital transport but she cleared her diary so that she could take me and I must admit it has been lovely travelling with a friend to the dreadful "zap zone".


Photo: Monday 16th August 2010 - Last hospital trip

Day 39 - Sunday 15th August 2010

A very disappointing day today. Having planned for a lovely stop-at-home day to enjoy some time with my three guys, I found that my head was totally out of it and I just couldn't get into the swing of it at all - so frustrating. A kind of spaced out feeling and totally disorientated - aaarrrgh ! I am supposing that is the side effects of the radiotherapy and they say that the effects will carry on for another two weeks following my final zap tomorrow - I am so looking forward to the end of the next two weeks and hopefully get some normality back.

So, Maurice and the boys spent some time in the garden doing a few little jobs and riding their bikes while I looked on from the conservatory.

Toby and Cory have been nagging me to look at their school books since end of term and I managed to get to them today. As it turned out their work is fantastic and a delight to look through with lots of praise from the teachers - I am a proud Mum - handsome and clever - what a combination !

Photo: Sunday 15th August 2010 at home

Day 38 - Saturday 14th August 2010

Busy day today. Needed to get football boots for Toby and school shoes for Cory, plus some other things for school, so headed out and must admit the trip took its toll a little. Was exhausted when we got home and had to have a long lay down - how pathetic is that after a stint of shopping!


Have been doing some tree spotting on my journeys lately. Trees are so beautiful, the shape, colour and even the size of some of them - they are truly amazing. Rainforests spring to mind here - why oh why can't something be done to save them - it is so sad what is being done to the planet.



Photo: July 2009 - Toby with mature nut tree in France

Day 37 - Friday 13th August 2010

Friday the 13th ! Anything could happen. Good news though. Have felt almost myself today - just a little bit fuzzy. A reasonably good day and with two days off the treatment for the weekend - am looking forward to a lovely couple of days with Maurice and the boys. Just one more frazzle on Monday and that's the radiotherapy finished. It may be that I get zapped again later on perhaps with gamma radiation but we will have to wait and see what the oncologist says about any further treatment when we meet him on 6th Sept.

Feel a little more positive now knowing the results of the scans and am feeling quietly confident that positive thinking and attitude and a good sense of humour will stretch my time because, apart from that little problem in my head and the even smaller problem on my lung, I am pretty healthy - and don't forget young - well youngish !

Have resigned myself to the fact that the Daihatsu Copen will have to go. There really isn't any way that I am going to be driving it. All the best laid plans and all that ... the idea was that when Toby went to Grammar, I could take Cory to school in it - Cory loves that car and was so looking forward to that. Sorry Cory. So..... a little red convertible is up for sale to anyone that might be interested. 2008 model (58) has only done 1300 miles and has one year's manufacturer's warranty remaining. A really nippy fun car with a 1.3 engine and a first class alarm to keep it safe. For more details either contact me or Mark at Orchard View Garage (01622 814204).


Photo: Saturday 7th August 2010

Day 36 - Thursday 12th August 2010

8 out of 10 radiotherapy sessions done - only two to go now - on the home straight.

Update: Kings have declined to perform the biopsy to confirm whether the tumours are melanoma or breast cancer. Without the confirmation there is no possibility of getting the new drug that treats brain tumours. Having said that, the drug would only give up to 4 months respite anyway. Would I really want to put myself through all the trauma for that? I don't think so.
Results of Bone scan - clear. That's good. CT scan showed small tumour to lung - about a centimetre. What did I say? Worried about it being elsewhere? Why am I always so damn right! However, it is the brain tumours that will kill me, so a little ole tumour on the lung really isn't much to worry about now is it?
Have been told I will have another scan in a couple of months to check out the status of the brain tumours.

This blog. As you know I had the idea of this blog only really as a record for Maurice and the boys to keep. It would seem that almost everyday I am finding out that more and more people are reading it. I find it truly amazing that anyone outside of my immediate family and friends would find anything I have to say even remotely interesting. It is comforting to me to know that so many people care and I know Maurice draws comfort from it too.


Photo: February 2009 - Toby & Cory in Egypt

Day 35 - Wednesday 11th August 2010

Three weeks since I was given the news of the tumours. Three weeks. It sure seems longer than that.

Well, what a day it's been today. Of course the usual radiotherapy appointment - No. 7 done and dusted - just three to go now. MRI scan to head today too. Once again there were problems finding a suitable vein in which to put the canula for the contrast they needed to put in for the scan. And hey what a really noisy machine! Spent 20 minutes in a very confined space with very loud noise that sounded like roadworks and banging. I was even given ear plugs and they did practically zilch - crazy machine.
Once that was over and bearing in mind my full body CT scan was scheduled for tomorrow with yet another canula needed, I asked if they could leave the canula in overnight - great idea I thought! Straight away I was told I couldn't leave the hospital with the canula in, so unrelenting I asked another nurse to check. She checked my schedule and called the CT scan suite and guess what? Got me in for the CT scan today! Didn't expect that, but am now such a pleased bunny that they have both been done. Got to say they have made a real mess of my hand where the canula went in but the swelling and bruising will improve soon enough.

A little apprehensive about results from the scans - really don't want to find any further intrusion anywhere else now do we? And if there is? As Maurice says - how much worse can it get? Well, he's right of course.

So, looking forward now to the end of treatment, just three radiotherapy sessions to go and finished. Yippeedooooo.

Oh and don't forget Ugly Betty is back on tonight too - 9pm E4 - one of my faves.


Photo: Sunday 8th August 2010


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Day 34 - Tuesday 10th August 2010

Well, here it comes I guess - no, not Christmas - the side effects of the treatment! Struggling to do even simple things now. Everything is taking soooooooo long and it is sooooooooo frustrating for me. I am still plodding on though and doing my best. Working is difficult - still have numb left arm and typing is problematic. So glad I got up to date with the work before the holiday.

Took a good look at the house today. I love our house, always have. It took us a long time to find it but it's the perfect family home for us in every way and it's always a joy to come back to and see again. We have lived here for nine and a half years, moved in when Cory was just eight weeks old. Apart from the country lane that doubles as a highway for 40-tonne artics, it is wonderful - I suppose there always has to be a compromise somewhere where houses are concerned.

Ok, so 6 treatments over - 4 to go. Another big day tomorrow - MRI scan to head. Let's keep it rolling.

Photo: Our house in 2003 with the beautiful Cherry Blossom