Day 14 - Wednesday 21st July 2010

The day has arrived, hopefully I will get some answers from physio and the breast clinic will confirm there is no problem with lymphodema.

On way back from dropping the boys at school, felt the spasm starting so had to stop the car and wait for it to pass. Very violent and for the first time whole of the left arm was twitching and visible this time. Difficulty changing gears but have to get home.

Another spasm of the same intensity at lunchtime. That's four times in less than 24 hours !
Oh well, the physio will probably be able to tell me what's going on.

1pm - At Physio - got an assessment and it was felt an MRi was definitely required and it would be arranged.

Pick up boys from school and head to Maidstone Hospital for the 4pm appointment.
Saw Doctor in Mr and Mrs Jones Breast Centre team, explained problems with arm and spasms. Dr. was concerned about what was happening and arranged a CT scan to rule out the possibility of cancer in the brain that could be affecting signals to left side of body.

Go for scan and - wait for it - brain tumours in situ ! Not in a million years did I expect that blow! Thought I'd done my time and almost made it past the magical 5 years - but not.
Asked what would happen and was told steroids to reduce swelling but that weight gain was the main side affect - so now I can eat as much chocolate as I like and blame it on the drugs!
When i asked how long - was told: days, weeks, months but not years.

WHAT? NOT YEARS? What about my beautiful boys? They are too young to be without their Mummy. They need me! How am I going to come to terms with not seeing them grow up.

How can this be happening?

Prescription given for steroids and Diazepam and must start steroids tonight.

Had a talk to my brave boys. Told them what was going to happen. Are very upset. Lots of hugs and kisses.


Photo: July 2007 - My three fellas

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