A year to the day it all started here

on the 8Th of July 2010 Vikki me and the boys were going to Oare to walk on the canal banks we were just going through Downham when Vikki said she did not feel good a shooting pain in her arm . we stopped for a couple of minutes. Vikki got out of the car and started to feel better. If we had the foresight now would this still of happened I don't know. this blog was her life line to lots of friends and family that we could not always see but Vikki loved to try to keep it all updated. Well I still can't read the blog as it is still to much. It opens up what pain and hurt can do to someone you love and I had to watch the woman I loved so much slowly fade into a shell. That pain will stay with me forever and all though people say time is a great healer that is not true , I was invited to my nieces wedding a couple of weeks ago and as part of the speeches a reference was made about Dee my first wife not being there and how proud she would have been. It filled me we tears and in front of people who I haven't seen for so long I sobbed. So, time does not heal you, you just bottle it up. My boys make me proud of what we brought them up as and how they give me strength to carry on. The days and weeks roll on and soon we will have to go through the first anniversary, but while I have friends and family around we get on with living are lives as we were told by Vikki. Never forgetting the happy times we had before cancer entered are lives.

All I ask is that on July the 8Th you remember Vikki Stancombe xxx

4th March 2011

Vikki may of left this earth, but she has not left our hearts. We are sending this out as a 'Happy Birthday' message as today Vikki would of been 53. As a family we have decided to plant a cherry blossom tree as a memorial for Vikki Stancombe.

We wish you all well and hope you enjoy the photos.

Toby Maurice and Cory

Bank Hoilday Monday 26th December 2010

Well How did Christmas go
It was OK we went to mass first thing the church was very quite and the last time we were there was for Vikki's funeral how full it was then . people ask and phone thinking it must be a hard time of the year but the boys have been good Toby says that in church he said a Little payer for mum Cory couldn't wait to get out to get back for presents me i felt happy just having my boys with me wont be long be for they are all grown up and leaving home so i will make the most of the time now i brought Vikki's ashes home so as she would be with me over Holiday we have never been away at Christmas time as we love the house so much ,but this year it felt strange i miss her so much its silly she loved Christmas and i never did it was just a Day off work and not always that i would just look at her face and see the delight it watching the boys open there presents it made you feel happy just see well enough of that the new year is coming and with it a set of dates to get thought i wish all of the fellow blogers a happy new year

Saturday 11th December

To all the People who have sent funds for the boys fund please note so far the total is £550.00
to date Iwill speak to bank on Monday at put the funds in . A very big thank-you to you all , and a very Merry Christmas to you all love to one and all the Stancombe boys xxxx

Friday 3rd December 2010

Thank you to everyone who attended the funeral. It was very emotional for us all and we would like to offer a big thanks to everyone who tried to get to the funeral, seeing such a large turnout even with the weather problems was heartwarming.

Also big thanks too everyone who lent a hand providing refreshments afterwards and throughout the day, helping to make it as special as possible. Also thanks to everyone who brought flowers.

Many thanks From the Stancombe Family.

Maurice, Toby, Cory and Laurence.

Thursday 2nd December 2010

The funeral is NOT cancelled.

Due to weather conditions it has become very dangerous to go on the road. We would not like you to endanger yourself unnecessarily. Please be very careful.

Wednesday 1st December 2010

We just thought that you could do with an update weather wise. We understand that some of you may be concerned about the weather.

There are clear roads and no traffic jams in Sutton Valence. It is clear on most of the M20 as well.

As for parking the village hall car-park is still accessible and should be perfectly OK on the day, an alternative car park will be available should there be any problems on the day details will be made tomorrow.

REMEMBER: It is very icy and snowy so PLEASE do not take any risks as we understand.

Day 143 - Thursday 25th November 2010. Funeral Update

For all those Concerned The funeral arrangements are as follows:

A funeral mass to take place at 11:30 at St Mary's church, Chart road, Sutton Valence
The coffin will be in-situ at the church . Following this service, a second ceremony will take place at Charring Crematorium at 12:40 for those who would wish to attend.
Following the service the funeral party will return to Sutton Valence village hall for tea and coffee etc. In accordance with Vikki's wishes no flowers have been requested, but those who knew Vikki, are invited to bring a single pink rose or carnation as they would not be out of place.
As to Donations, Vikki's request was that a fund be set up for Cory and Toby's education. Those people who are wishing to donate, there will be a plate at the back of the church for anyone wishing to do this.

At this time we would like to yet again offer our thanks for the heartfelt support shown to the family.

Day 138 Saturday 20th November 2010

HELLO, It's the husband also known as Maurice .

The arrangements are now in place and will be put at the end of the blog . What I wanted to say is a big thank you to some very special people who through all that has been going on in the Vikkis world have without any question helped myself and the boys as well as Vikki cope with the rigours of daily life mum in law, and Laurie, Janet, Jo and the girls from the careers who made Vikki's last few days so happy I would often take a ticket to see my own wife, and what a wife. Life will never be the same the boys have lost a mum, I lost a lot, lot more, but I have the best of memories that will stay with me forever my love to all the bloggers and I hope to see you all at the special day celebrating the life of my beautiful wife Vikki , God bless you all.









FRIDAY 3rd December 2010 Mass at St Marys Church Sutton valence Followed by Service at the ceremetium at Charring and tea coffee cake sandwiches at the village hall sutton valence

all are welcome Please note no Flowers at vikkis request

Day 136 - Thursday 18th November 2010

Sadly, Vikki has passed away. We all feel very sad, if you would, can you please pray for her. As we came down and saw Vikki, she looked very peaceful and calm. Dad stayed up all night with Vikki. There is an emptyness to our lives, that only our mother could fill.

We thank you for reading this blog, as it made Vikki feel special and made some difference to peoples lives.
Keep reading this blog as Dad will be posting details about the funeral arrangements.


This blog was written by Toby and Cory.

Day 132 Sunday 14th November 2010

Today is rememberance sunday, so today lets all remember the good times. I can no longer communicate, and I am slowly leaving this mortal Earth, but the time I've had, although short, has been forfilled by my two beautiful boys, and my loving husband Maurice. To all my friends, and fellow bloggers, I hope you have enjoyed and gained some deep understanding of how life can be turned upside-down to make every day count.

All my love, Vikki. xxx




This blog has been written by Toby, Cory and Maurice. We think that it is very important that you know how Vikki is feeling and what is going on. Sadly, we think it is not going to be much longer.

day126,mon 8th nov

Feeling very tired as i have morphine patches now to help with the pain.

Had a lovely weekend with my family, love spending time with my boys, all 3 of them.

Maurice did some fireworks outside my window for me, what a star!

Maurice also bought me a super duper new phone, a galaxy tab...it is fantastic!It makes texting so much easier for me, so everyone that has recently received texts from me can expect a better effort in future!

thanks to Jo for doing the blog today

day 121 weds 3rd nov

What would you say if you were told that your brother had been made redundant after many years with the same company???

But what would you say if you had not seen him for 12 years,or heard anything from him???

Now i hear he has been reading my blog and wants to visit me!!!!
Bad timing i say!!!!! Cant say im looking my best at the moment!!!

But i want to know...is he coming to see me for him,or for me?????? I await his phonecall, with anticipation!!

Have now seen gemmas bike out of the window...looks amazing!!

Looking forward to fireworks night as Cory and I love sparklers,and we are getting a BIG box of them!!!


Thanks to Jo for typing this up!

Day 119-monday 1st Nov

Pleased to say internet now up and running, so blog continues!!
Weekend went far too quickly,and this morning sees Toby back at school.Thanks to him for all the care he has given me over the holiday.
Feeling very tired,but the hospital bed is a godsend,which is just as well as i am spending alot of time in it!!
Later today,energy dependant, i am aiming to start playing my new DS game,proffessor Layton!!! Should be interesting!
Looking out of my window, i am noticing the leaves rapidly changing, turning browner by the day! Soon be bare i fear!!
My lovely carer (one of them, they are all lovely!),has been given the title carer of the month...a well deserved honour..well done Gemma!.Still no improvement in my flexibility on left side, a real nuisance!!!
Still enjoying my favourite tipple....hot chocolate with squirty cream and chocolate sprinkles....jos speciality!!
Thanks to Jo for typing this blog!

Day 117-Saturday 30th October 2010

While some of you may be thinking that I am going for the record of genuine 999 calls made in one I can assure you that every call has been necessary to get me out of a predicament and the call made yesteray was no exception. Once again stuck on the floor and needing assistance and once again the crew turned up trumps. Almost disaster struck yesterday when the internet connection broke. Please to say now resolved so should be no interuption in service from here on. Thanks to all the people involved. Today in the morning I had a small seizure , although it only lasted 15 minutes. Thank you to Toby for typing this.

Day 112 - wednesday 27th October 2010

Well,everything continues to be comfortable with a super bed and the carers coming in 4 times a day.However the daytime tv is sooooo rubbish i am seriously considering entering some of the daytime competitions to try and win some money.Still no sight of the carers bike but promised very soon i am looking forward to seeing it thanks to Cory for typing this blog left arm still useless swollen left hand hope it's not limphodeama.Boys still enjoying half term and provide breakfast and lunch for me also drinks when required.

Day 110 -Monday 25 October 2010

Another relaxing weekend with visitors on saturday and sunday one of my carers has announced that she is getting a motorbike.The only problem i can see is that she has a minor mohawk haircut and with a helmet on.....but she is very excited so i am never the less and can't wait to see it.Have received a gift of the new professor Layton game on the ds so hope to play that is instead of watching rubbish day time tv.Thank you Cory for typing this blog for me.

day 109 - sunday 24th October 2010

Last night I had a tiny seizure and so I increased my medication today. My visitors have been kind and brought lots of edible gifts such as american baked cheesecake and chocolate. The last of the parish records have finally exited The Firs and I wish all the new clerks the very best of luck in their new roles. Cannot wait for the carers to perform their usual bed-wash tomorrow to remove all unwanted scraps of food from my bed!

Day 107-Friday 22nd October 2010

Thank you to Cory for typing this blog today.Once again a quiet day,had some visitors which was very nice and long may it continue.Day time tv continues to be rubbish but thank goodness it is just background noise.The boys continue to be helpful to Maurice and i hope it won't be a flash in the pan as he needs help with the house.The boys are looking forward to half term and i am looking forward to spending time with then.

Day 105 - Wednesday 20th October 2010

Thanks to Janet for the reminder and for typing this blog today. Daytime tv continues to be as boring as hell. Luckily magazines are a little more interesting.
Cory got a good report at the open evening that Maurice went to and Toby still seems to be settling well. All four parishes now have new clerks - I am sure they will all prove capable and I wish them the best of luck.
The hospital bed is amazing and I can get into positions I didn't believe were possible even before I was ill. The bed and me have been booked by a couple of clerks (no names mentioned) to take part in the New Years Day Pram Race 2011, so all invited to watch this spectacle.
I have had a lot of visitors which has been really lovely, if you are thinking of coming to see me (which would be great), please ring my mobile first as mobility is an issue and I can't get to the door. Hope to see you soon.

Day 101 - Saturday 16th October 2010

The carers are great. I can't fault them at all. Noy only do they check on me I have had string of visitors to see me. That is great but the only problem with thay is that ~~~~~I am unable to get to the door to answer it !!!!!!! Yes mobuility is still a problem.

Day 99 - thursday 14th October

With the help of Toby i'm afraid I am going to be a little profound today.

Where difficultys arise ... hang in there. Difficultys arise in the lives of us all and what is most important is dealing with the hard times, coping with changes, and getting through to the other side where the sun is still shining just for you.

So... beginning today and lasting a lifetime, hang in there and don't be afraid to feel that the morning sun is shining just for you.

Find something to be grateful for every day. Every day be full of awareness of the beauty around you. Be full of gratitude for friends and family, for the goodness you find in others and for your health and all you are capable of. Be full of expectance of yourself and others, appreciate the gifts of laghter and fun in your life and find contemptment in knowing that you can always control your ability to look on the bright side.

Love yourself every day and remember how many people love you. Do good things for others. Always see the goodness in this world. Most of all, be happy, for when you are happy you have the key that will open all the worlds doors for you.

day 98 wednesday 13th ~october 2010

the carers are fantastic, theres nothing they wont do. They come in four times a day. There are also alot of visitors coming to see me. Otherwise it has been a normal day, staying in bed, watching TV and having conversations with people that are in the house. I have been catching up on my reading, magazines, books and watching the commonwealth games. I like watching the diving the most, watching them go in the pool I enjoy. Tom Daley is very good. My lovley husband and children look after me when the carers are not around, cooking, cleaning up the house,

Day 97 - Tuesday 12th October 2010

Have to say the Carers are very good and if it wasn't for them ~I would definitely be pen and inking - I get a lovely wash in the morming which is great as I cannot get upstairs to get to the bathroom. The hospital bed is very comfortable too. The carers are very obliging and happy to help with anything. They sre very friendly too and nothing is too much trouble.

Day 93 - Friday 8th October 2010

Well I have been somewhat neglectful of my blog but there has been a lot going on too so I hope to bring you up to date now.

Since the biopsy I have had quite a lot of pain in my left shoulder that I put down to the biopsy but as the days move on I realise actually it may well be cancer on my lung. Maurice tells me that the morphine feed is ready when necessary. As far as I aam concerned the start of morphine is the start of the slippery slope and I will avoid it until it is absolutely the last possible option.

At the moment co-codomol is fitting the bill, so let's see how we go.

My mobility has deteriorated substantially in that I cannot even get to the front door if anyone calls by!

Have had visits from the District Nurse. Occupational Therapist and Macmillan, the result of which is a hospital bed that has been put downstairs because I have trouble getting upstairs, a comode and a care plan that will start on Saturday when carers will come in four times a day - that will give Maurice some breathing space. The bed is amazing, moves all ways - am thinking of putting on a show and selling tickets - ha ha ha.

Day 89 - Momday 4th October 2010

So we have received the result of the biopsy and what was the result that we needed? A breast cancer cell that is HER2 positive. Guess what we got? The worst posible scenario - MELANOMA! MELANOMA! hOW CAN THAT BE? That wasn't supposed to happen. There's no treatment for melanoma in the brain and likelihood is that's what it is.

Day 87 - Saturday 2nd October 2010

Had a visit from my GP late yesterday evening - first housecall since the start of this final journey. He is arranging for the District Nurse to call round on Monday morning.

Well you sre probably wondering how the sleeping arrangements worked last night - as far as I am concerned it went like a dream - no problems - but Maurice might hsve something to say about it - not sure it is printable.

Had some visitors over today -had a lovely day but not much else to say for the blog.

Day 86 - Friday 1st October 2010

Well after yesterday's little episode what more could happen? Anyone that knows me well, knows that there surely has to be something else - and you'd be spot on. Maurice said if I felt unsteady coming down the stairs then come down on my bottom, so I gave it a go and then made it to the bottom stair and - guess what - got stuck - couldn't get up - so another call to 999! They are brilliant! Got me up in no time at all. What am I like? Let's hope the weekend goes without the need for a 999 call.

Because of the problems getting up and down the stairs Maurice has now moved a bed downstairs ~ I am going to give it try and see how it goes this weekend.

Day 85 - Thursday 30th September 2010

Stupid, stupid, stupid situation today that resulted in another 999 csll! Got stuck on the kitchen chair snd couldn't move! With ambulance man ssistance made it to the sofa.

Also on waking had two more small seizures that affected my left hand and torso. Aaaaarh.Have been told can increase the anti-convulsion drug. Hopefully that will help.

Day 84 - Wednesday 29th September 2010

Well now the biopsy is done and dusted what's next? We need a whole lot of positive thinking that the secondary cancer on my lung is HER2 positive. That's the result that is required. So if you have some spare positivity it would be much appreciated if you could send it in my direction. Unfortunately it will be around 10 days for the result so patience is going to come in handy on this one.

Am still a little sore from the procedure yesterday but it's bearable.

Photo: White tiger cub


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